Ena - Day Three
Ena: Before leaving the office yesterday evening I had a minor panic attack thinking that people – I mean, people I know – may actually read this thing. I began to regret sharing news of our project with anyone. It isn’t so much that I’m posting potentially humiliating pictures of myself on the internet, or that complete strangers now have access to some of my deepest thoughts, it’s that my friends and family – people I know – will now know one of my major insecurities. I’ve been exposed, or, to be more accurate, I’ve exposed myself. Yikes!
Luckily, Bina was able to talk me down from the ledge by explaining (as I hyperventilated) that exposing our insecurities along with our fashion struggles is part of the process. Ok, fine. Needless to say, I was slightly less optimistic as I approached my closet this morning, but I was able to rally enough to make it out of the house looking presentable…at least I hope I was.
One quick thing I’ve been meaning to mention with respect to this project; Bina and I are broke. I’m not kidding, we are paycheck-to-paycheck girls, and, unfortunately, our budgets prohibit us from purchasing luxury items – like cardigans and shoes without holes – very often. I’ve been reading a handful of fashion blogs lately, and, while they are all terribly lovely and inspiring, they are also somewhat ridiculous and infuriating. Most of the beautiful young bloggers are absolutely stinking rich with infinite amounts of free time to hunt for clothes and work on their style. I’m sorry, but no, I don’t care how you paired your brand new Gucci bag with your YSL pants…you look great, but seriously, give me something I can work with!
That said, you’ll likely be seeing a lot of repeats from me as this project progresses; my available recourses are shrinking at nearly the rate my fashion wish-list is growing. I’m gonna do the best that I can with what I’ve got. Please, be kind.
Bina - Day Three
Bina: My body jolted me awake at 6:48 and my first thoughts were “This blog was the stupidest idea ever and I don’t want to do it anymore.” I felt sick to my stomach and wanted to immediately retreat into a hoodie, jeans, and Chucks routine once again. I laid there for a good half-hour. Just thinking. About how my heart was still a little broken and I didn’t care about looking pretty. I just wanted to be sad.
But I didn’t want to let Ena down. Or myself for that matter. Or the possibly 5 people who we have shared this with who might actually look at it. We made a deal. Every day, our picture was going up whether we looked good or not. I would feel pretty lame if I couldn’t even keep this up for a week. So I got up and I started working on me. I decided to look at getting ready in the morning as a project – one that I could actually finish.
Once I decided what I was going to wear and put on my make-up, I started feeling a little better. Then, I decided it was time to pull out some big guns – my Big Girl Shoes which I purchased just last month for a wedding. I didn’t make it through the whole wedding with these shoes on but, by God, I was going to try to make it through this work day in them.
I arrived at work and went into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee before our meeting. My Boss came up to me and jokingly said “Hi I’m _____, nice to meet you.” Then, everyone started in. “Wow, what’s going on?” “You look so nice.” “You look so TALL.” “Those shoes are HOT.” “Who’s the new girl?” With this flurry of attention, I felt embarrassed, mostly because I realized I must usually look like a complete piece of shit.
Email excerpt from male co-worker: “Nice shoes today. You’re doing something different with your eye makeup too, huh?”
Me: “I’m actually wearing some, if that’s what you mean…does it look stupid?”
Co-worker: “No, it looks good, I noticed it a couple of days ago. It’s just a whole new, glamorous Bina. New boyfriend?”
Me: “Nope. It’s just for me.”
*Click images to enlarge