Ena - Day 35
Ena: Further to yesterday’s post regarding the difficulty of posing for pictures, I would just like to reiterate that – unless you are a model – trying to look comfortable, natural, and happy in front of the camera is infinitely more challenging when you are surrounded by nosey strangers. During the course of this project, Bina and I have had many hilarious and humiliating moments while out posing for and snapping the day’s pictures. We have been “caught” by co-workers, ogled by construction workers, and offered advice by delivery people. By far, the most mortifying moment to date involved our very bizarre mailman and a small blue truck, but that’s a story for another time.
Today it was particularly challenging to find a location free from curious passersby which made my self-imposed task of attempting to remain sunglasses and scowl free all the more difficult. Needless to say, I am not happy with today’s pictures. But, the blame does not lie entirely with our unsolicited audience or my loss of props; it is difficult to pose for and be happy with pictures when you hate what you’re wearing.
A funny thing about this project is that it has made me feel terrible about myself almost as many times as it has made me feel great about myself…almost. Before I was trying, even if I showed up looking poorly put-together and schlumpy, I was usually comfortable in the clothes I wore to work both physically and emotionally. But now, if I have one of those I-have-nothing-to-wear days and leave the house in one of those I-hate-what-I’m-wearing outfits (like today), chances are that I’ll spend most of my day in a bad mood. I have learned that clothing can be a very powerful thing.
But, I have also learned that no matter how powerful clothing may be, yoga is always more powerful. After leaving my yoga class this afternoon, I no longer cared what I was wearing, I felt like a million bucks; which is funny because later I’m sure I’ll feel like I was hit by a million trucks. Oh well, physical pain is a small price to pay for coming to terms with my insecurities and learning that, even when I feel like I am moving in the wrong direction, every step I take brings me one step closer to becoming the person I want to be.
Bina - Day 35
Bina: Hi, I’m Crap Bag. If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap. Okay, maybe I don’t look like a bag of poo but I don’t look all that great either. My outfit’s just lazy. I like the top, which was a Forever21 gift a few years ago, but I hate how my jeans are all bunchy (probably partly because of my weight loss). And I also kinda look like the poor man’s version of Ena on Day 30. I probably could have figured out a more fashion-forward way to wear this shirt if I took more time, but that’s okay. These days are bound to happen. It’s only 4 work days into the new year, and already I feel exhausted. I think my closet is kind of exhausted too. If it warms up, I’ll have a few more options, but otherwise I’m gonna need to start getting really creative with layering. On the fashion blogs, the models look all cute and bohemian and whimsical when they do it, and when I try to do it in real life, I fear I’ll just look like a homeless person who’s lost her mind. If that is the case, then you can call me Princess Consuela Bananahammock.
But I gotta shake things up, cuz this week’s photos of me are kind of boring; I’ve been retreating back to my jeans a little too much. I think Ena and I have both hit a humiliating little wall with the pictures and our outfits – and hopefully a $20 spree at the thrift store this weekend will help spice things up. However, I will say I’m proud that I finally feel like I look nice, if not always stylish, when I leave the house; it definitely makes me feel more attractive and confident wherever I go. And tonight I will be shaking things up at my second Tahitian dance class, and I’m happy to report that I woke up actually looking forward to it.