Passionless Fashion

transforming our lives by transforming our wardrobes

Day 46 – Tuesday


Ena - Day 46

Ena: I really hate my hair today.  Sorry, I guess I should be more precise; I have been unhappy with my hair lately, but today I really hate it.  I have thin, fine, straight, limp hair.  My hair refuses to do anything on its own and rejects anything that anyone attempts to do to it.  My hair is a bitch.

There is really nothing else to say about the matter, this is mainly just a rant.  I have no solutions to this hairy situation (really sorry about that, I just couldn’t help myself), but I do have a few questions.  How am I supposed to appear professional when my hair appears to be stuck in grade school?  How can I expect to look stylish when my hair refuses to be styled?  I often feel like my head does not match the rest of my body, though perhaps I am giving my body too much credit.

Besides my hair, I am fairly pleased with my look today.  I am wearing a new pair of tights that I thought had been gobbled up by my dresser drawers and lost forever.  I like them, though I have to admit that it is still quite difficult for me to wear leg-revealing clothing, and wearing “interesting” tights seems to draw more attention to an area of my body that – until recently – I have worked diligently to hide.  Oh well.  No pain, no gain…right?

Bina - Day 46

Bina: Namu myo horenge kyo. I repeated it to myself again and again, as my mother and grandmother had instructed me.  It would calm me down.

I find that driving is the time when I am most apt to burst into tears for almost no apparent reason. I guess it’s because it’s a time when the mind can tend to wander. I have this problem wherein I remember things so vividly it is as if I am reliving. Maybe it’s all those acting classes or something, but when I recall a memory, I am there. I mean, I am feeling every single thing I felt at the time of the memory. It’s a curse, really. It is for this reason that I am going to take my first Buddhist meditation class this weekend.  I need to learn how to clear out all of these negative thoughts and memories so I can start building my life again. Because I’m not sure exactly when, but it feels like I’ve stopped building anything.

So I’ve had a lot of driving time lately on account of my new hobby, Polynesian dancing.  The studio I go to is amazing and world-renowned and…in Anaheim.  Twice a week.  90 minutes in traffic there.  90 minutes of dancing.  About 35 minutes to get home.  I tell you all this because everyone seems so shocked when I tell them where it is and the effort I am making to get there. I figure if surfers can wake up at 4am to drive an hour and half to catch a sweet wave, then I can drive 90 minutes to dance my heart out.  I suppose that’s what passionate people do.

It’s true. I’m loving it. When I’m in class, it’s almost like meditation because I can stop thinking about everything else and just feel powerful and seductive.  Whether it be a Tahitian love song, a prayer hymn, or a sex-driven booty-shakin’ beat, it makes me feel totally HOT.  But I’ve really got to work on my Fa’arapu — because when it’s done right it can look a little like this around the one-minute mark.  However, when it’s not done right, it looks kinda like a toddler trying to furiously shake a turd out of his diaper.

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2 responses to “Day 46 – Tuesday

  1. Cheeles January 26, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    Ena, I think you would look super cute with a bob

  2. Cheeles January 26, 2011 at 1:42 pm

    A bob with bangs

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