Ena - Day 55
Ena: Wow, Monday again and very little to report. I hope that everyone had a super weekend; mine was pretty good, I didn’t accomplish very much but I did have fun. I also ate like a bear preparing for hibernation, but I’d really rather not get into that. I tried to cover my tracks, so to speak, this afternoon in yoga class by replacing my downward shame spiral with downward dog, but I am still feeling a bit guilty…and bloated. Oh well.
Today I am wearing something fairly boring and really not worth mentioning other than to say that I absolutely adore these pants. I really do. They were given to me by a friend a few years back and they have been a staple in my pathetically small, but slowly growing, work-wardrobe ever since. I have been very excited to read that wide legged pants and slacks are fashionable again – though, I have to admit that I didn’t realize that they weren’t all along – and I am hoping to score some while out thrifting this weekend…I suppose that I should add that I am hoping to go thrifting this weekend; first thing’s first.
As I seem to have more things in my “to do” column than in my “completed” column at the moment, I thought that I’d make a list of the things that I would like to accomplish before next Monday. I love lists, I find them motivational. I also find fear of public ridicule motivational, so, in no particular order, here goes: call the Los Angeles Unified School District to inquire about volunteer opportunities (thank you, Mr. President), call my local Los Angeles Public Library branch to see if there’s anything that I can do while I wait for my GAB training, revisit my list to prioritize activities and make a schedule, go thrift-shopping. There you have it. No excuses, time to get to work.
Bina - Day 55
Bina: Well, it’s a beautiful spring day here in Los Angeles, which means that I am wearing a wool sweater. I’m awesome like that. Anyway, I’ve been peeling on and off my top layer all day as I go from the freezing office to the sunny outdoors. This sweater was from the Goodwill trip many moons ago and I’ve only now taken the opportunity to wear it. It’s not really my usual thing, but I do like it. Other than that, I felt a little wild and crazy when I left my apartment this morning. I was trying to do something different and playful and I’m not sure if I succeeded or if I just look like a mentally-deranged Asian Pippi Longstockings.
I accomplished the goals that I set forth for myself on Friday – it’s true, the humiliation of public failure is a very strong motivator. On Saturday morning, I threw on some of my old grubby clothes and went downtown to walk some dogs at the Bark Avenue shelter. I spent most of my time with a mutt named Ginger – Ginger is currently being treated for a serious case of smelly mange so I was glad I was dressed the way I was so I could give her lots of love and hugs without feeling inhibited in any way. Poor, sweet Ginger. I felt for this dog. She was so full of love and energy. She kept trying to play with the other dogs but the other dogs didn’t seem too interested. We ran around the block a few times and I played with her and gave her lots of hugs and pets. She finally succumbed with exhausted relief and lay down her skinny body to rest on the pavement so I could rub her raw belly. I wonder how much Ginger has been through, but she still has so much love to give.
Saturday evening, I ventured to the Meditation Center for my first class. I pulled my car up behind a woman who had just parked. I noticed her license plate had a holder that said “Have a very nice day.” With the plethora of douche-y vanity plates abounding in LA, it was nice to see such sincerity on someone’s vehicle. Anyway, the woman got out of her car and started walking; she then noticed I didn’t have quite enough room to park behind her – there was a driveway. She got back into her car and pulled up slightly so I would have enough room. This may seem like nothing, but I thought to myself, “Wow, people who meditate are nicer than other people.” I smiled, waved, parked, and went inside to learn how to overcome anger and stress.
The building itself looked run down from the outside, but once I entered the space, I saw what a peaceful retreat it really is. I walked upstairs, took off my shoes, and waited for the monk in full robes to descend upon us. We did some guided breath meditation, and we talked about learning how to control our angry thoughts, by trying to nip them in the bud before they started swirling out of control. It’s quite complicated and certainly I am going to continue practicing and learning, but the crux of the matter was that anger and worry solve nothing. Good and bad things will continue to happen. I’d like to learn how to handle both with grace and acceptance.