Ena - Day 95
Ena: Once again, I found myself standing in front of my closet this morning with absolutely no idea what to wear, and once again, I find myself sitting down to write today’s post feeling completely brain-dead, struggling to think, and trying desperately to remember why I put these clothes on. I know that my mental slowness and wardrobe woes are due primarily to last weekend’s adventure, but this is ridiculous; we’ve got 5 days left, I need to snap out of it!
100 days is a looong time – 95 days is a looong time – but that’s no excuse to lose steam at the end. I want to go out with a bang, finish on a high note; the only trouble is, I have no idea how. I think that I joked about it before, but I really am having a terrible time deciding what to wear in these last days; I feel like I’ve worn everything, I’m out of money and (worse) ideas. My inability to come up with anything even remotely interesting to wear or say yesterday or today really stings. I’m pretty disappointed in myself.
Alright, here and now I vow to make these last 5 days count. I vow to scour my closet tonight, pulling out every article of clothing that I have never worn, and I vow to give each piece a chance. I vow to do everything in my power to avoid being boring. And, I vow to end this project with the confidence, creativity, and enthusiasm that I was so greatly lacking on Day 1. Or, at least, I vow to try.
Bina - Day 95
Bina: So my dress is a little wild and crazy today, but I like it. Thrifted for $5.99, I selected it for the unique print which reminds me of Japanese maple leaves. My mind goes back to the Fall of 2006, when my mother and I visited family and drove through the Japanese countryside to visit onsens (hot springs) and eat delicious and beautifully-presented foods everywhere we went. The autumn foliage was the most incredible I have ever seen, accented by Mt. Fuji in the background. It’s amazing the stories that clothes can tell when you put them on.
Anyway, I wanted to talk more about the meditation class I mentioned yesterday. I had been once before, so I felt a little more relaxed when I entered the space this time. This class was a free one, or “by donation” only, so there were a lot more people of all shapes and sizes, young and old, tatted and conservative, foreign and domestic – one man even had a seeing-eye dog. We were a motley crew, all there looking for a little more inner peace; every seat and floor cushion was filled.
The monk in full-robes descended upon us, and we all rose to greet him and the statue of Buddha above us. The topic of the day was Transforming Fear into Fearlessness, and the whole talk was nothing short of amazing. Among the stories the monk told, one in particular has stuck with me – the calming of the mad elephant. The well-known story goes that a raging elephant was released from captivity and charged wildly down the streets forcing everyone to flee. Only the Buddha remained, waiting and radiating love. Once the elephant was in the Buddha’s kind presence, he knelt before him, and the Buddha placed his hand lovingly on the crown of the elephant’s head. The elephant was instantly calmed.
Later in the class, we did a guided meditation wherein we were to imagine all of the negativity, fears, and anger washing away, and then a few minutes later, we envisioned the Buddha standing before us, illuminating light. Guided by the monk’s soft voice, I pictured the Buddha placing his hand on my forehead and pouring loving kindness into my heart. Maybe it was the energy in the room, I’m not sure, and it only lasted for a few seconds, but I swear, I felt that hand on my forehead. I felt calm.
Holy crap, I’m a hippie! Well, I never really liked bras much anyway. But just to prove I’m still me, I will have you know that I totally have a crush on that monk now. And just to prove this is still LA, I saw Cameron Mathison as I was leaving.