Passionless Fashion

transforming our lives by transforming our wardrobes

Day 100 – Wednesday

Ena and Bina - Day 100!

Ena - Day 100

Ena: So today, for the grand finale, I thought I’d show you all something you’ve never seen before – my knees.  Wow.  With the exception of Day 1 which is in its own league of disaster, today has been the most challenging for me.  From the moment I left my house, I have been extremely self-conscious and nervous to the point of light-headedness.  I have also caught myself feeling defensive and confrontational (feelings made worse by the dozens of onlookers present at today’s photo shoot), as though preparing for a fight.  But, as uncomfortable as I am today, this outfit represents a big step for me and I am so glad that I was able to find the courage to wear it by Day 100.

As a segue into this final post, and as a way of elaborating on a point that I was trying to make but had to rush through in order to get to 826LA on time (it was fantastic, by the way – everything I had hoped), I would like to revisit the last paragraph of yesterday’s post.  I’m not sure that I properly articulated my reason for sharing my meltdown anecdote and I don’t want there to be any confusion.  I suppose that learning, especially this close to the end of our project, that I at times still feel directionless, hopeless, and less than satisfied with my life could lead to the assumption that I failed in my mission to become a more happy, successful, and passionate person.  That simply could not be further from the truth.

I am most certainly a happier and more passionate person today than I was prior to beginning this project, there is no doubt about that.  I have found two volunteer projects that I am incredibly passionate about and that I plan to support for many years.  As for success, I may not have achieved all that I hope for yet, but I am now even more confident that someday I will.  My reason for sharing the anecdote was to illustrate that, far from being indicative of failure, Monday’s episode solidified for me the universal nature of momentary meltdowns.  This project has taught me that the brief lapse in sanity I experienced is in no way symptomatic of deficiency, it’s symptomatic of life.

This project has also taught me that I can accomplish anything, that I am capable of so much more than I ever thought.  Not to get too cheesy (or too plagiarize-y), there is a line from the book Eat, Pray, Love that sums up exactly how I feel about what I have learned over the course of this project.  In the book, the author writes, “I remember an old catholic joke about a man who spent his whole life going to a church every day and prayed to the statue of a great saint begging ‘please, please, please, let me win the lottery.’ Finally the exasperated statue comes to life and looks down at the begging man and says ‘my son, please, please, please, buy a ticket.’ So now I get the joke.”  And now so do I.

So, to wrap up, I would like to thank my friends and family for their overwhelming love and support; despite my initial reservations about sharing this part of my life, this project would have been a lot less fun (and challenging, and embarrassing, and humiliating, and…) without you.  I would also like to thank all of our readers (turns out we have more than five after all) for their encouraging comments, and for not judging us too harshly.  And, finally, I would like to thank Bina without whose unparalleled powers of persuasion I would have never, ever, ever participated in a harebrained scheme like this and without whom I would not have become the person I am today.  Thank you all for sharing this journey with me.

Bina - Day 100

Bina: My doubt regarding this blouse began to creep in when I was checking out at the Goodwill. The cashier looked at the tag and asked me, “Did you get this from the pajama section?” Um, no, no ma’am, I did not. Regardless, I took it home and it has been hanging and looking at me from the closet. This morning, it was now or never. The blouse was the base of my outfit today and I tried to build everything around it; I took one last look at myself in the mirror and thought “pajama top” but then thought “to hell with it” and walked out of the house.

As I entered the gate at work, I stole a glance at my reflection in a nearby window; I was startled by a man’s voice, “You look perfect.” Caught in the act, I laughed and said, “Thanks!” to the dude lounging on a cart, and I walked with a little more bounce in my step. I picked out this drape-y blouse because I was enamored with the minty-blue-green color, and the shape reminded me of Kim Basinger’s 80s blouses in 9 ½ Weeks –  remember when I was infatuated with that movie’s looks?  Anyway, here I am, in my Day 100 outfit, and I don’t care if it’s a pajama top or not, I love it.

Look, we all know I’ve worn some pretty crazy-ass shit to work over the course of this project. But it was totally worth it because I’ve learned so much about my style and myself in the process.  I tried lots of new things – like Tahitian dancing, volunteer dog-walking, reading to children, meditation, yoga. And I revisited some old things – like screenwriting and theatre. I feel a little bit like I just ran a marathon; though, obviously, I know this doesn’t really compare, I feel drained from all of the emotional introspection. I started this blog with a bit of a broken heart and a broken spirit, and I feel extremely proud that I stand here today, wearing the ultimate accessory – a smile. Looking back on some of the scarier days is hard for me, but I think it’s somewhat educational. And I’ve grown and changed so much in the last 5 months. Sometimes now in the middle of cleaning the kitchen, I’ll strike a yoga pose and meditate for a few minutes. To you, that may sound totally granola and hippie, and I agree, it is, but, hey, what’s a girl who is part Buddhist/part Hindu warrior to do?

Did we achieve what we set out to accomplish? In my eyes, yes. I think somewhere along the way this turned into something bigger than I had anticipated. While it started as a way for us to learn about style and try new things, it became something more – a journey of self-discovery, if you will.  Sometimes it was a trip down memory lane; sometimes it was a place to vent; sometimes it was a place to report on our gingerbread house.

I’d have to say one of the most important things I learned from all this is discipline. I learned to commit to something, and I learned to finish something I started. Now, I find myself reinvigorated and inspired – ready to tackle the next thing and finish that, too. And, sometimes, you find inspiration in the strangest places. For instance, last night, in typical Hollywood fashion, I found myself in an intimate screening room with my friend Alexis and Bradley Cooper . . . yadda yadda yadda . . . when I got home, I opened my laptop and got back to work.

*Thank you so much for reading and sharing this time in our lives with us.

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Day 99 – Tuesday

Ena - Day 99

Ena: Day 99, woo-hoo!  But also sort of boo-hoo.  I am having very mixed emotions regarding the conclusion of this blog, I have absolutely no idea how I feel.  At times I feel relieved – no more making the time to run around taking embarrassing photos of ourselves; no more stressing out while trying to compose the semblance of an informative, entertaining, and poignant post while doing actual work and getting out of the office on time.  But I also feel sad – no more forced self-introspection; no more blog to obsess over during down-time; no more photo shoots filled with hysterical laughter.  It’ll probably take a few weeks of non-blogging before I really come to terms with how I feel and before I truly realize the impact that this project has had on my life.

Alright, that’s enough of that.  As you can see, today I am once again wearing a very bright color (though, in much less offensive amounts) and I am once again wearing my black blazer (that makes three days in a row, in case you were wondering).  I really like this neon green-ish yellow tank top and I thought it’d be kind of fun to pair it with a black pant suit.  I accessorized with a beautiful turquoise necklace which was given to me by my Grandma – she made it and I love everything about it – and with these amazing blue and gold and mirrored sparkling bangles which were a gift from Bina who brought them back from India for me.  I have to say that I am quite pleased with the way that everything came together today; not too shabby.

Yesterday evening before leaving the office I had a minor mental-meltdown followed by a somewhat comical panic attack.  I don’t really know what happened, but all of a sudden I was fed up with my job which led to a sort of what-does-it-all-mean frame of mind.  Somewhere between the meltdown and the attack, I realized that I hadn’t felt that way in a long time.  It’s odd because I wasn’t thinking about the end of the blog or my life or my job or anything, it just came out of nowhere – wham.  I’m not really sure what it means or if it means anything at all.  Bina was here to talk me through it and I am fine now.  I guess I’m bringing this up as a way of pointing out that meltdowns are a part of life, all lives – including the happiest, the most successful, and the most passionate – and that’s okay.

Alright, that’s enough of that.  I’m off to volunteer!

Bina - Day 99

Bina: There were days when I wondered if this project would ever be over. Somewhere around Day 35, when Day 100 was only an idea in the very distant future, I definitely thought to myself, “What the hell were we thinking?” Actually, I probably wondered that more than a few times. I don’t think I realized how much work being “photo-ready” and writing about it every day for approximately 5 months of our lives would be, but we’re almost there! One more day! Uno mas!!!

So now that this is the penultimate entry, I am, of course, freaking out. Yesterday evening, as we were wrapping up our work and getting ready to leave the office, for some reason, both of us started to mildly panic. What does this mean? What’s next? Did we accomplish everything we were supposed to? What if we didn’t? Is anybody out there?! Of course, we managed to talk each other off our proverbial ledges, something we’ve gotten pretty good at, I must say.

My feelings about the blog ending are bittersweet. I’ll miss it, of course, but I’m also a bit exhausted and I need a break. And I am excited to take the energy that I have been focusing on my style-blogging and channel it into the new arenas I have discovered or re-discovered that I want to pursue. But more than anything, this blog has given me something that I needed for quite some time – a sense of purpose. What, I suppose, has been really great about it is the fact that it has been sort of like the gift that keeps on giving, like teaching a starving man how to fish. In this example, I was the starving man. And I’ve taught myself how to find purpose. Many purposes, in fact. I’ll have to talk more about all of those tomorrow.

And so, we ventured out for our next-to-last day of photos. We hit the backlot and waved to the friendly man on the forklift who always says, “Say Cheese!” when he sees us. No, really, every time. Ena thought maybe he didn’t speak any English except for those words, but it turns out, we were wrong. He just really likes to yell, “Say Cheese!” and occasionally, “Say Cheeseburger!” We let the tour groups think we were celebrities and snap pictures as they passed. We decided to just have fun and enjoy our time in the sun and in the spotlight. Because before I can even tell you about my thrifted psychedelic pink scarf and Laurel for Target mini-skirt, we’ll miss it.

Day 98 – Monday

Ena - Day 98

Ena: Well, here are the bottom half of my unclothed legs.  Here they are.  No big deal, right?  Wrong.  This is a big deal, a very big deal – for me.  I feel naked, and exposed, and self-conscious, and cold, and yet, oddly free…but mostly naked and self-conscious.  I also feel bright, very bright, like a walking endangerment to anyone suffering from Photosensitive Epilepsy.  Watch out.

Further to last Thursday’s post, I have some more good news to report on the volunteer front.  Besides the folks at 826LA, it appears that I have also fooled the good people at the LAPL who have looked into my background and cleared me to begin my stint as a member of the GAB program.  I hope to begin volunteering at the Arroyo Seco Regional Library as early as this Saturday.  The GAB program provides an invaluable service to the youth of Los Angeles and the community as a whole, and I am thrilled to have the opportunity to lend it my support.

Alright, before you ask, the answer is no.  No, Bina and I did not do this on purpose, it just happened; we did not discuss our outfits before work this morning, though, given our past history, perhaps we should have been in the habit of consulting one another prior to heading out every day.  Today only serves as further evidence that our outfit cycles have, in fact, synched up.  It’s pretty funny actually, and we have been turning heads (and likely blinding people) everywhere we go.  Another unforeseen joy of our little project – causing mass confusion, not seizures.

P.S. Of course you know that I’m joking about the background checks, right?  Though far from maternal, I am by no means a threat to children – at least, not in any real way.

P.S.S. I’d like to send a major shout out of congratulations to my amazingly inspirational Mom and Sister who participated in the Seattle Glee Flash Mob this weekend!  Their beautiful faces (and mad dance skills) can be seen in the “Capitol Hill” dance which begins around the 3 minute mark.  Very well done guys, wish I could have been there with you!

Bina - Day 98

Bina: *So not only have our fashion cycles synched up, but it seems our writing cycles have synchronized as well. This is what happens when two women share an office together for at least 40 hours a week, and decide to embark on a fashion project spanning 100 work days. We were bound to wind up thinking alike a few times, but today’s coordinating outfits are perhaps the most embarrassing.  Because we have both made fairly bold choices with color, it felt extra attention-grabbing when the pair of us walked across the lot to yoga together. Or maybe we’re just too self-conscious? Hmmm, no, I think we look pretty damn loud, as in, “Hey! Look at us! We’re bright! And we kinda match!” It’s like we’re assaulting your senses.

I’m doing kind of a coral and turquoise combo and Ena is rocking electric pink and blue; I think we were both aiming for Springtime looks. I received some validation on this when a woman at the printer told me, “You look like Spring!” I’ve been seeing this color combination all over magazines and style blogs; once I found this skirt at the Goodwill, I thought it might be fun to try pairing it with this offbeat top from the Asian-designer grab bag. It’s weird, but these colors actually do make me feel happier.

And it makes me extra happy to look at Ena’s outfit today! I’m so glad she’s finally showing those gams off to the world! Yay! I’d also like to take a moment to say how grateful I am for her. Ena and I came into each other’s lives for many reasons, and I know in my heart that one of those reasons was this harebrained little scheme of ours.

Day 97 – Friday

Ena - Day 97

Ena: So, this is a tank top that I purchased for my recent Las Vegas trip to wear as a swimsuit cover-up as it is loose, light weight, and quite long.  Well, I got so many unexpected compliments on it last weekend that I decided to try it out as a regular, non-swimming related top.  And here you have it.  Not too bad, though it does look much different (and much better) in real life; I guess there are some drawbacks to using an iPhone as a camera after all.  Nevertheless, I do really like today’s outfit.

I know that it doesn’t look like it, but this outfit actually represents a big step for me: the happy mixing of brown and black.  Yes, it is a terribly outdated notion, but I have always – and until today – had an aversion to mixing the two colors.  In fact, as much as I love these shoes and as long as I’ve owned them, I have never felt truly comfortable wearing them; why are the soles brown while the suede is black?  Why?!  It has never made any sense to me…until now.

When I tried on this shirt in the store, I was surprised by how much I liked it.  Wait, let me back up.  When I saw this shirt in the store, I was surprised by how much I wanted to try it on.  There we go.  This morning, after shoving what now seems like an excessive amount of fabric into my pants, I automatically reached for my black belt.  But then I thought twice.  “Why,” I thought, “Why not try the brown one instead?  And, why not wear the unsettling brown and black sandals to finish it all off?”  Why not, indeed.

Amazingly enough the shirt, belt, and shoes are all the exact same shade of brown, so it worked out rather nicely.  And, I must say, now that I’ve tried out the combo, I think I’m hooked; doors once closed are now open.  You’ll probably think I’m making this up, but walking around at work today in my black and brown outfit I feel kinda edgy, a little rebellious, and completely chic.  Crazy, I know, but, sadly, true.

Bina - Day 97

Bina: I planned on wearing something completely different today, but you know, things, like the weather, change on a dime. It was chilly and overcast, forecasted to start raining at noon. (By the way, it hasn’t rained and it’s sunny now.) The mini-skirt I had laid out just wouldn’t do at all. So, as I was applying some mascara in my bathroom mirror, I thought about the options I could try instead. This is what I came up with. I put on my dress from Day 76, pairing it with more conservative black tights this time, and threw on a black cardigan and bright yellow scarf for fun. I accessorized and was on my way, fairly pleased with my improvised look.

I also wanted to wear comfortable shoes since I’d be walking over to be a Friday Reader again. This time, I was faced with a group of third-graders who were 90 minutes away from Spring Break. I decided that I wanted to read them Japanese fairy tales; why not try bringing something different and unique to the table? I read them a few stories from Peach Boy and other Japanese Fairy Tales, one of my favorite books from youth. A little antsy yet attentive, they seemed to enjoy The Rabbit in the Moon, The Toothpick Warriors, and Silly Saburo! We had brief discussions about the morals of each story, and the kids were very bright and always more engaged than I thought they would be. And the best part – the stories were Mrs. Kim approved! “Japanese fairy tales are my favorite!” the adorable Korean librarian exclaimed.

I walked back to the office, eager to get back to all the work I needed to finish by the end of the day. But first, I looked up at the blue sky and sunshine, peeled off my sweater, and inhaled. Things are blooming here in Los Angeles.


Day 96 – Thursday

Ena - Day 96

Ena: Update: the scouring of my closet and the serious reconsidering of clothing from my purchased-but-not-worn collection will extend into the weekend, so don’t expect to see anything new and exciting until next week…and maybe not even then – these things may have been purchased but not worn for a reason.  That said, today I am wearing items from my purchased-and-worn-once collection, except for the cardigan which belongs to the purchased-and-worn-way-too-much collection; think I’m kidding, see yesterday’s post.

Likely the result of a youth spent in Catholic school uniforms, I absolutely love the combination of red and navy; it’s bold and classic and pretty much everyone can pull it off.  Needless to say, with the exception of the shoes – I really think that the outfit would look better with some chunkier, more masculine loafers, but I don’t have any, so there – I was quite pleased with my look today.  It wasn’t until receiving an unintentional diss from a coworker that I began to rethink my opinion on the matter.

This afternoon, we were forced to gather in the nearest conference room in order to celebrate someone’s birthday.  This is a task that I am already loath to participate in, mainly because I hate small-talk, forced conversation, awkward pauses, and the joyless singing of joyful songs…and also because I am not currently eating cake.  Anyway, while sitting uncomfortably in the conference room plotting my escape, Bina walked by, prompting one of our coworkers to turn to me and say, “This is my favorite look on her.”  Yay Bina!  This person then said, “So, you were going for comfort today, huh?”  Huh?!

On a more positive note, I was very happy to receive an email this morning relaying that (contrary to the opinion of some) the state of California does not consider me a serious threat to children and clearing me to begin volunteering at 826LA, which I will do next Tuesday night at 6 pm.  So, outfit schmoutfit – I’m finally gonna get my volunteer on.  Yay me!

Bina - Day 96

Bina: This is my power outfit, my “maybe I have an interview, maybe I don’t” outfit. It may not seem that outlandish, but I wore it specifically because of how different it is from the way I would normally dress, at least prior to this project. It is simple and clean and muted and polished and pretty much the opposite of comfy. Anyway, I think I was trying to look tough in today’s photos below, but instead I just look confused? Bemused? Skeptical? Grrrrrrrr? Actually, “Grrrrrrr?” could very well be the caption for all of these photos. Yeah, so looking tough isn’t necessarily my strong suit. Oh well, I tried.

I tried to channel Ena a little actually. She’s tough, and she don’t take no guff. Wow. I did not intend to rhyme my way into a terrible campaign slogan, but if she ever decides to run for public office (a possibility!), we’ve gotten that out of the way. I think I was paying homage to her Day 20 look, but I’m like the poor man’s version, as in, seriously, this shirt and skirt were each $2. I told you. I have a problem.

Anyway, somehow, just as I was leaving the office at 5 to head to Anaheim, a huge wind storm picked up. I was quite literally almost knocked off my feet, my bags were a-flailing, I was struggling with my coat, and my hair was blowing in every possible direction. An elderly gentleman on a cart stopped next to me and shouted, “You need a ride to the gate? You look like you’re getting blown away there! Hop on!”  He was positively beaming.

I hesitated only slightly. “Okay! Thank you so much!” I hopped on the cart and chatted a little with Bob. I don’t think he thought I looked very tough at all, but, to be honest, I’m glad he didn’t, cuz my feet hurt.

Day 95 – Wednesday

Ena - Day 95

Ena: Once again, I found myself standing in front of my closet this morning with absolutely no idea what to wear, and once again, I find myself sitting down to write today’s post feeling completely brain-dead, struggling to think, and trying desperately to remember why I put these clothes on.  I know that my mental slowness and wardrobe woes are due primarily to last weekend’s adventure, but this is ridiculous; we’ve got 5 days left, I need to snap out of it!

100 days is a looong time – 95 days is a looong time – but that’s no excuse to lose steam at the end.  I want to go out with a bang, finish on a high note; the only trouble is, I have no idea how.  I think that I joked about it before, but I really am having a terrible time deciding what to wear in these last days; I feel like I’ve worn everything, I’m out of money and (worse) ideas.  My inability to come up with anything even remotely interesting to wear or say yesterday or today really stings.  I’m pretty disappointed in myself.

Alright, here and now I vow to make these last 5 days count.  I vow to scour my closet tonight, pulling out every article of clothing that I have never worn, and I vow to give each piece a chance.  I vow to do everything in my power to avoid being boring.  And, I vow to end this project with the confidence, creativity, and enthusiasm that I was so greatly lacking on Day 1.  Or, at least, I vow to try.

Bina - Day 95

Bina: So my dress is a little wild and crazy today, but I like it. Thrifted for $5.99, I selected it for the unique print which reminds me of Japanese maple leaves. My mind goes back to the Fall of 2006, when my mother and I visited family and drove through the Japanese countryside to visit onsens (hot springs) and eat delicious and beautifully-presented foods everywhere we went. The autumn foliage was the most incredible I have ever seen, accented by Mt. Fuji in the background. It’s amazing the stories that clothes can tell when you put them on.

Anyway, I wanted to talk more about the meditation class I mentioned yesterday. I had been once before, so I felt a little more relaxed when I entered the space this time. This class was a free one, or “by donation” only, so there were a lot more people of all shapes and sizes, young and old, tatted and conservative, foreign and domestic – one man even had a seeing-eye dog.  We were a motley crew, all there looking for a little more inner peace; every seat and floor cushion was filled.

The monk in full-robes descended upon us, and we all rose to greet him and the statue of Buddha above us. The topic of the day was Transforming Fear into Fearlessness, and the whole talk was nothing short of amazing. Among the stories the monk told, one in particular has stuck with me – the calming of the mad elephant. The well-known story goes that a raging elephant was released from captivity and charged wildly down the streets forcing everyone to flee. Only the Buddha remained, waiting and radiating love. Once the elephant was in the Buddha’s kind presence, he knelt before him, and the Buddha placed his hand lovingly on the crown of the elephant’s head. The elephant was instantly calmed.

Later in the class, we did a guided meditation wherein we were to imagine all of the negativity, fears, and anger washing away, and then a few minutes later, we envisioned the Buddha standing before us, illuminating light.  Guided by the monk’s soft voice, I pictured the Buddha placing his hand on my forehead and pouring loving kindness into my heart. Maybe it was the energy in the room, I’m not sure, and it only lasted for a few seconds, but I swear, I felt that hand on my forehead. I felt calm.

Holy crap, I’m a hippie! Well, I never really liked bras much anyway. But just to prove I’m still me, I will have you know that I totally have a crush on that monk now. And just to prove this is still LA, I saw Cameron Mathison as I was leaving.

Day 94 – Tuesday

Ena - Day 94

Ena: I can’t really talk about what I’m wearing today because I have no idea what it is…or what I was thinking when I put it on.  Oh, wait, that’s right – I wasn’t thinking when I put it on.  I am still recovering from my weekend trip to Las Vegas; I may still be recovering for the better part of the week.  Enough said.

Try as I might, I can think of no words sufficient enough to describe the time we had – not surprising as I am having a rather difficult time thinking in general today – and since the pictures will never see the light of this blog, you’ll just have to take my word for it.  It was a riotous time, copious amounts of fun were had by all…copious.

Believe it or not, this tank top is actually pink with very intricate silk detailing at the top, but you’ll have to take my word for that as well as the pictures do not represent it very well.  I found this belt and these shoes in my closet, threw on some accessories and there you have it.  I also have a scarf, but I forgot and left it in the office when we set out to take pictures this afternoon, so I guess it’s sorta moot now really…give me a break…I could be wearing pajamas…but I’m not.  Enough said.

Bina - Day 94

Bina: This weekend was filled with soul-soothing goodness. That goodness included recruiting my best friend to volunteer dogwalk with me downtown at Bark Avenue, eating imagawayaki (Japanese red bean cakes) under swinging lanterns in Little Tokyo, and an intense Buddhist meditation class at the Kadampa Center in Silverlake. I plan to tell you more about that meditation class another day, but for now, the fact that Ena is recovering from her debauchery in Vegas reminds me of another story that takes place in a casino.

I was visiting my folks in Texas over the holidays a couple years ago. One night, we were bored, so my Mom, brother, cousin Raina, and a family friend all decided to make our own good time; we drove to Oklahoma to play the slots. Granted, it’s Oklahoma, so I’m fairly certain our experience in that casino was nowhere in relation to Ena’s weekend in Vegas. But we got dolled up anyway. Well, the girls did. I think my brother put on a dress shirt.

Once inside the casino, I was ahead of my Mom because I’m a fast-walker; maybe it’s all that time I spent living in New York, but I don’t dawdle when I’m walking somewhere. My mother says that I was, in fact, strutting. Anyway, she caught up to me, hooked her arm through mine, smiled at me and said with her Japanese accent, “We are two hot bitches.”

I stopped in my tracks. “What did you just say???!!!!”

“Two hot bitches!”

“Mom! Where did you learn that language?”


None of us, including my mother, could stop laughing. Mom gets mad at me for having a sailor mouth sometimes, but in this case, it was totally worth it.

Day 93 – Friday

Ena - Day 93

Ena: Wow.  Well, I wish that I wasn’t too busy to tell you about this lovely lavender skirt that I picked up at the Palm Desert Goodwill and how much I adore it.  Sadly, I am, and the pictures don’t really do it the justice it deserves.  It’s a great skirt, I think I’ll get a lot of use out of it and I’m glad that I bought it.  I am also wearing a jean jacket that I purchased at one of the many thrift stores my Grandma and I visited during that Palm Springs trip; it’s perfect, exactly what I’d been searching for for quite some time.

I also wish that I wasn’t too busy to tell you what a wonderful time my boyfriend and I had at Dodger Stadium yesterday for opening day.  Everything was perfect; the weather, the company, the final score.  Unfortunately I am too busy to properly mark the occasion or go into the enormity of this event and all the psychological mumbo-jumbo it represents, but today I am showing more bare leg at work than I ever have before, more than I would have ever thought myself capable of revealing.  This is pretty big.

I am very happy to report that I will be out of the office on Monday.  I am going to Las Vegas for a bachelorette party.  My oldest friend is getting married this summer, so, to celebrate, this weekend a group of 9 girls will occupy a 2-bedroom suite at the Palms; we will shop, we will dine, we will drink, we will swim, we will dance, we will laugh.  I am so unbelievably excited.  This is also pretty big.

Bina - Day 93

Bina: So yeah, that game was crazy. The Mavericks lost, which was a huge bummer, especially since I made a jersey bet with my coworker, JP.  I told him we’d have to wait until the blog was over before I wear his stupid purple and gold. Dammit. Oh, well!

The reason I started rooting for the Mavs, of course, goes back to childhood. My brother, Bikrum, has always been the biggest Mavs fan I know. No fair-weather fan, he always roots for them, despite their record or playoff chances. He wore a big puffy Mavs jacket to middle school even when they only won 11 games in an entire season! That’s dedication. Or passion, I suppose.

Speaking of someone with intense passion, everyone really hates on the owner, Mark Cuban, quite a bit. I understand the man is eccentric, loud, and annoying; but he does do a lot for the fans. Once, shortly after Cuban bought the team; my family was selected from the nosebleed section to sit courtside; they pick a family at every game. Also, while my brother was in college, his lung spontaneously collapsed; I wrote to Mark Cuban. He sent us tickets,  signed T-shirts and hats. Once, there was an ice storm in Dallas and we had tickets to a game; I wrote to Cuban – he gave us new tickets for another day. The guy may be overzealous and a little nuts, but he does answer his email!

The Dallas Mavericks are certainly not “America’s team.” People dislike the Mavs for a variety of reasons; sportscasters call them “soft”; they can become easily frustrated when things don’t go their way. I love them all the same. Maybe they remind me of myself, only I haven’t punched anyone in the nuts.

Anyway, I picked out this thrifted shirt because I like the cranes. They remind me of a time when my mother was making a Senbazuru, or a thousand origami paper cranes held together by string. Japanese legend says that anyone who folds a thousand paper cranes will be granted a wish by a crane. Her wish was for my Dad to stop drinking; it took a while but it did finally come true. Maybe Mark Cuban should get to folding, and step away from the microphone.

*As Ena will be out of the office on Monday, and we are so close to Day 100, our next post will be on Tuesday!

Day 92 – Thursday

Ena - Day 92

Ena: So, today I am like, what…an urban commando?  It may be hard to believe, but I really didn’t think of this print as camouflage when I bought the dress, but today, especially after looking at the photos, it seems to be an obvious association.  Oh well, I really, really love this dress; the color, the print, the material, the cut, the $11.50 price tag, I love it all.  Who cares if I would blend into the jungle?  It could come in handy some day.

I am also wearing a new pair of wedges for the first time today.  I bought these wedges for an event and I thought that today would be the perfect day to take them for a test drive; so far, so good.  Though they may very well be the most heightening shoes I own, they are comfortable and sturdy enough to make them a good, smart buy.

Today was the perfect day for me to test drive my new wedges because today I am leaving early.  Today is opening day in major league baseball, one of the happiest days of the year, and I am going to Dodger Stadium to watch as the Dodgers defeat the hated San Francisco Giants.  I am so excited I can barely contain myself; it’s like that Christmas morning, butterflies-in-your-stomach, anticipation-induced joyfully-nauseous feeling I’m sure most of you have experienced.  Don’t worry, I’m going home first to change into more comfortable and appropriate attire, and then it’s off to the park.  Yay baseball, yay Dodgers, I’m thinking blue!

Bina - Day 92

Bina: Well, sports fans, it’s a scorcher! Today, the thermometer was predicted to hit 90 and that’s about how it feels too. And, for once, I am appropriately dressed for this early summer weather. This is another cheap little Hawaiian dress given to me by my hula-lovin’ mother, and the fabric is so light and airy, it is sheer heaven in this heat. I was a little nervous it was actually sheer too, but Ena reassured me that my look was rated PG. Combining my klutzy history with a white dress and tall wedges was a high risk, but one I was willing to take at this point in the game. Thus far, I have not fallen into a vat of grape jelly – but the day ain’t over yet.

I have gotten a few comments from people, telling me they are jealous of what I am wearing because it looks so cool and refreshing. I feel cool and refreshing. I also feel like I should be on vacation in Hawaii! Oooh. That sounds divine. I’d also like to be eating a sno-cone on the beach right now. Okay, enough fantasizing. Back to reality.

There’s a line people often quote from a Sheryl Crow song, “It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got.” I didn’t get it; it made no sense! But I think I sorta get it now. This morning, I woke up to the oldies station, and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. As I looked outside my window to the clear blue sky, sunshine, and palm trees swaying in the breeze, I felt appreciative. I felt grateful that I live here; I even felt a little proud of myself. Just because I could look outside and see a palm tree.

A few months ago, I did not appreciate the palm trees outside my window. I felt like I didn’t appreciate anything. I was drowning, and I didn’t know if I’d survive another day in this city. I’m doing much better now. However, while I can now appreciate living in LA, I will never be a Lakers fan. So while Ena’s rooting for her Dodgers tonight, I’ll be tuned into basketball and rooting for the Dallas Mavericks – cuz you can take the girl out of Texas but you can’t take the douche out of the Lakers!

Day 91 – Wednesday

Ena - Day 91

Ena: The thermometer was projected to top out around 80 degrees today here in Los Angeles, so I decided to wear one of my favorite sleeveless tops.  I bought this top last summer at Martin + Osa; it was on sale and I should have bought one in every color, but I wasn’t thinking.  I really like the cut, though sometimes I think it may be a bit too sexy for work.  Isn’t it funny how revealing a little skin makes me feel like I’m being risqué – like, “oh look, a shoulder!”

As we near the end of our little project, I am feeling some pressure to perform; nine days left, better make ’em count.  To be perfectly honest, I hadn’t really given much thought to our final days until recently.  In fact, the enormity of Day 100 is only now beginning to sink in.  It should be huge, right?  I should go all out, balls to the wall, pull out all the stops, right?  I suppose I should, and I would, if I had any idea what that meant.  Ah well, I’m sure I’ll come up with something.

Bina - Day 91

Bina: I want to scream from the rooftops, or at least my office, “This skirt was only 2 dollars!!! The belt was a buck!!!” I have that sickness wherein I like to tell everyone how much things are, especially when the items are particularly cheap. Maybe it’s the Indian side in me, who knows? Anyway, yes, this very bright red vintage skirt (somewhat reminiscent of Ena’s on Day 77) and the red canvas/brown leather belt were both found at the ol’ Glendale Goodwill. Ena proclaimed the skirt to be the best thrift purchase I have made – EVER. I also found a similar turquoise one (also for $2) and I plan to wear it in the next 9 work days, since that is all we have left! OMG.

So, dating, huh? As you may recall, a few weeks ago, I mentioned that I had a first date, followed a couple weeks later by a second date. I’m not going to go into too many specifics but I wanted to say that I had a great time on those dates. I felt confident, sexy, funny, smart, and myself. I thought, “I can do this.” It felt good to be out; it felt good to be treated like a lady; it felt good to know my worth. He was a set-up, through friends, which is probably the closest I will ever get to an arranged marriage. It was my first set-up ever, and I think it went rather well. That being said, I’ve opted out of a third date. Not because there was anything wrong with him, on the contrary, my friends managed to pick a perfect gentleman and genuinely kind person; I’m just not sure I’m healed enough quite yet to give up my selfish soul-searching quest. But I feel that I am moving in the right direction.

Something weird happened after I had the realization that I wasn’t ready to go on a third date. Tears sprang to my eyes. I honestly said out loud, “What is happening to me???”

“What’s the matter?!” Ena exclaimed, confused.

“I don’t know. Empathy, maybe?”

I cried for him. I cried for me. I cried for everyone who is looking for the one. And then I got over it, and got back to work.